Sunday, April 20, 2008

Day 20 - Enough to wonder

(OK, C - this post is for you.)

I can relate to the recognition of good fortune, and how the joyous revelation of gratitude can fill your spirit with a profound love of life and all it entails. Although I wouldn't say it was polar opposite, my experience was quite different from another's.

The event was seeing a new friend perform a gig at a Philly restaurant/bar. The background is that I had met him through another friend and had gotten to know him some personally over the previous couple weeks. However, not knowing anyone in the "music biz", I was a little apprehensive about seeing the entertainment aspect as it was completely unfamiliar. I can't explain it rationally, but I didn't want to appear like a groupie. Nor did I really want to watch a bunch of groupies vie for his attention. (Yes, I have an inherent jealous tendency, but I have worked at lessening its intensity, and if I may say so, I do a pretty good job at hiding it.) Although I wanted to see him perform, only when I knew he actually wanted me there would I have gone.

Other contributing factors included being with people I didn't know or didn't know well, during the drive to & from the city, and during dinner (the food was really good). And, I'm uncomfortable in bars. This discomfort proved distracting, and made me more susceptible to other external distractions which made it difficult to enjoy his performance, which was pretty awesome.

Although its memory conjures mixed feelings, I'm glad I went, as it helped to build experience and relationships. Not every growth experience is a pleasant one.

It may be presumptuous for me to call it a growth experience, as I'm still not sure what the "lesson" is. It may have simply been an opportunity for me to express my support for someone actively pursuing their passion, an example of which there cannot be too many.

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