I (loosely) participated in a good group discussion about the Ego, but my example didn't occur to me until I got home. I say loosely because my only contribution was the idea of fearing judgment. Even though my EGO likes to believe I'm above it, this fear actually does has a HUGE effect on me sometimes. Yet, I think a significant manifestation of my ego is my knee-jerk reaction to justify myself. An example (a very relevant one, I think) would be religion.
We all judge others on some level and I try my best not to judge unfairly. I admitted to being a little anxious, so I hope what I write is taken in the spirit in which it's intended.
It was made clear tonight that at least a couple members of the discussion group are Christians. Anyone who knows me or has read my previous post probably knows I do not consider myself to be Christian. I'm embarrassed to admit that immediately, if for only a moment, I wrote-off the possibility of future gatherings with this group because if this. Not because I would not accept them, but because I feared that as soon as they found out I wasn't a Christian, they wouldn't accept me.
[Now, I know this is illogical, but I've seen stranger things happen. AND being this open and honest demonstrates my faith that they are reasonable.]
I followed a minivan all the way home with a couple bumper stickers, "Who would Jesus bomb?" and "God bless everyone. No exeptions." I didn't really think anything of it, but it prompted me to consider what not being Christian means to me, which is what resulted in that ridiculous internal dialog. The first answer that comes to mind is that I feel I need to justify myself. Because I don't follow a specific religion, I'm somehow not as worthy of the great things life has to offer. Again, yes, I know... ridiculous. But I think that's Ego-driven.
Anyway, this is only a post about self-observance, which supports my idea of focusing on my spirituality, and is not meant to make any judgments on Christianity or the friendly people from the discussion group. :)
2 comments:
I have many friends who are Christians and other faiths and I even go to church dinners sometimes, they realize that I am hopelessly non-theistic in the traditional sense and if they wish to explain a theological concept to me , I say that I will listen if they allow me to explain quantum entanglement. I see them as people and some do great work for children and families , I never apologize for my decisions and they don't either. I respect the ones I know for the actions they take as individuals. I don't see that you have to justify yourself in the case you describe. It might be better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not, and I have no idea what that means or where it came from but I have a random thought generator :)
Thank you - that makes sense.
Although there are many more things that I'm not than things I am, so in a way this is saying that I am hated more than I'm loved. ;)
Seriously, though, I get it. AND, it makes me realize that I seem to think of myself in terms of what I'm not a more than what I am. I will elaborate in a blog post, featuring your quote...
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